| Ex Falso Quodlibet: A & ¬A |- B | |||
| 1 2 1,2 1,2 1 1 | (1) | A & ¬A ¬B (A & ¬A) & ¬B A & ¬A ¬¬B B | Assumption Assumption (for Reductio) 1,2 &Introduction 3 &Elimination 2,4 Reductio ad Absurdum 5 Double Negation Elimination |
venerdì 28 settembre 2007
Alziamo il livello...
mercoledì 26 settembre 2007
EuRoEnglish
Tony Blair dall'inizio del suo mandato, aveva capito che in molti casi era importante dimenticarsi delle proprie origini oxfordiane per ricorrere a un inglese condiviso dalla platea europea e/o mondiale a cui si rivolgeva. Il 7 ottobre 2001, per esempio, Blair rilasciò un'importantissima dichiarazione per comunicare ufficialmente l'avvio delle azioni belliche in Afghanistan. Il suo discorso, dal punto di vista linguistico, era studiato per essere il più possibile comprensibile. Certo, il suo era un modo per sdoganare l'Euroenglish in una versione molto corretta, mentre la maggior parte degli italiani parla un inglese "pidginizzato", tollerante degli errori di cui quello che segue è un esempio ai limiti della forzatura, ma senz'altro molto emblematico: sul set del film "Giù la testa", per tenere a freno James Coburn che era piuttosto irrequieto, il direttore di produzione lo minacciava così: "You must stay on the bell with me!" , e anche: "Where do you go, for the roofs ?". Il povero Coburn ascoltava stranito, perché capiva ogni singola parola ma non il senso di una traduzione letterale di "Hai da stà in campana con me" e "Ma 'ndo vai, pè tetti ?".
martedì 25 settembre 2007
lunedì 24 settembre 2007
venerdì 21 settembre 2007
giovedì 20 settembre 2007
Catholic School Girls
A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.St. Peter asks the first girl, "Jessica, have you ever had any contact with a penis?"She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?"The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."St. Peter says, "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line.When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her ass in it."
mercoledì 19 settembre 2007
Successful
Four men went to play golf one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free."
The second man said, "My son is a car salesman, and now owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded.
The third man , not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
The fourth man joined them at the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and a go-go dancer at a gay bar." The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, and brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."
martedì 18 settembre 2007
lunedì 17 settembre 2007
A Near Death Experience...
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recover, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recover, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
venerdì 14 settembre 2007
Un aiuto per Fede
Il Principato d'Andorra è un piccolo stato dell'Europa sud-occidentale, situato nei Pirenei orientali, tra la Francia (dipartimenti dell'Ariège e dei Pirenei orientali) e la Spagna (provincia di Lleida). Un tempo isolato, oggi è notevolmente prospero, principalmente grazie al turismo e al suo status di paradiso fiscale.
Prosegue su http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andorra
Il Principato del Liechtenstein (in tedesco: Fürstentum Liechtenstein) è un piccolo stato dell'Europa centrale, racchiuso tra la Svizzera (cantoni San Gallo e Grigioni) ad ovest e l'Austria (Land Vorarlberg) a est. Sede di numerosi istituti bancari, è considerato un paradiso fiscale. La natura montagnosa e la bassa densità di abitanti gli conferiscono un tipico aspetto alpino con prati, campi coltivati, vigneti (nell'Unterland, il nord) ed allevamenti all'aperto (nell'Oberland, sud), è conosciuto per gli sport invernali.
http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liechtenstein
Prosegue su http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andorra
Il Principato del Liechtenstein (in tedesco: Fürstentum Liechtenstein) è un piccolo stato dell'Europa centrale, racchiuso tra la Svizzera (cantoni San Gallo e Grigioni) ad ovest e l'Austria (Land Vorarlberg) a est. Sede di numerosi istituti bancari, è considerato un paradiso fiscale. La natura montagnosa e la bassa densità di abitanti gli conferiscono un tipico aspetto alpino con prati, campi coltivati, vigneti (nell'Unterland, il nord) ed allevamenti all'aperto (nell'Oberland, sud), è conosciuto per gli sport invernali.
http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liechtenstein
Cercasi tesista disperatamente!
Sei un tesista di ingegneria (elettronica o informatica)? Allora contattaci! Cerchiamo urgentemente un tesista da inserire in un progetto in laboratorio!
Requisiti:
-Fondamentale! Aver iniziato la tesi da Luglio, non accettiamo tesisti che abbinao iniziato prima di metà Giugno!!!
Requisiti:
-Fondamentale! Aver iniziato la tesi da Luglio, non accettiamo tesisti che abbinao iniziato prima di metà Giugno!!!
giovedì 13 settembre 2007
Engeneering Students
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Three Holy Men and a Bear
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
mercoledì 12 settembre 2007
martedì 11 settembre 2007
Heaven
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept
people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was
standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about
the day you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an
affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over
the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the
balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the
edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting
his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the
refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The
strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was
a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it
was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of
my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the
edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some
maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer.
Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a
refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really
start to enjoy this job.
"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator ..."
people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was
standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about
the day you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an
affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over
the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the
balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the
edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting
his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the
refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The
strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was
a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it
was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of
my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the
edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some
maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer.
Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a
refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really
start to enjoy this job.
"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator ..."
Get back to work
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me
And there you are,
sitting on your ass,
at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice
lunedì 10 settembre 2007
At the supermarket
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a
packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at
the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at
the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
venerdì 7 settembre 2007
Guess
Two Kentuckians are walking down different ends of a street toward each
other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy
Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm ... five?"
other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy
Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm ... five?"
martedì 4 settembre 2007
Il cervello è come l'Italia!!!
Nel cervello ci sono 12
miliardi di cellule, ma c'è
tanta disoccupazione.
(S. Tebaldi)
lunedì 3 settembre 2007
sabato 1 settembre 2007
Dimostrazione matematica della inesistenza di un DIO
Disclaimer : La dimostrazione non ha alcuna consistenza matematica, ma il ragionamento malato è ingegnoso!
Hp : Associamo a Dio un numero complesso d.
Dio, rappresentando il bene, è una cosa positiva -> di conseguenza d > 0
Sia d* il coniugato di Dio. Ma Dio non può essere coniugato, sarebbe una bestemmia, una cosa negativa -> di conseguenza d* < 0 Valutiamo adesso il modulo quandro di Dio |d|^2 = d d*
E' banale che |d|^2 > 0 , ma d d* è il prodotto di una quantità positiva per una negativa
Di conseguenza d d* < 0 e quindi abbiamo trovato un assurdo
Th : Dio non esiste!
c.v.d.
Hp : Associamo a Dio un numero complesso d.
Dio, rappresentando il bene, è una cosa positiva -> di conseguenza d > 0
Sia d* il coniugato di Dio. Ma Dio non può essere coniugato, sarebbe una bestemmia, una cosa negativa -> di conseguenza d* < 0 Valutiamo adesso il modulo quandro di Dio |d|^2 = d d*
E' banale che |d|^2 > 0 , ma d d* è il prodotto di una quantità positiva per una negativa
Di conseguenza d d* < 0 e quindi abbiamo trovato un assurdo
Th : Dio non esiste!
c.v.d.
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