The man's guide to female English

What She Says	What She Means
We need	I want
It's your decision	The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want	You'll pay for this later
We need to talk	I need to complain
You're...so manly	You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight!	Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!	I've got my period
This kitchen is so inconvenient	I want a new house
I want new curtains	and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
I need wedding shoes	the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there	No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise	I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me?	I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me?	I did something today you're not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute	kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my butt too big?	Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate	Just agree with me
Yes	No
No	No
Maybe	No
I'm sorry	You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe?	It's easy to fix so you'd better get used to it
I'm not yelling!	Yes I'm yelling because I think it's important
All we're going to buy is a soap dish	It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few purses, and those sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?