The Woman's Guide To Male English

What He Says	What He Means
I'm hungry	I'm hungry
I'm sleepy	I'm sleepy
I'm tired	I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie	I'd like to have sex with you later
Can I take you out to dinner?	I'd like to have sex with you later
Can I call you sometime?	I'd like to have sex with you later
May I have this dance?	I'd like to have sex with you later
Nice dress!	Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage	I want to fondle you
What's wrong?	I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this
What's wrong?	What meaningless, self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong?	I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored	Do you want to have sex?
I love you	Let's have sex right now
I love you, too	OK, I said it -- we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair	I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair	$50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk	I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me?	I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
I like that one better (while shopping)	Pick any frigging dress and let's go home!